How to Escape from Paradise during a Pandemic, Part 2

Yaaaayyyyy!!!

Our first UPS shipment-- the dreaded, gigantic, expert-level Tetris game of a bike box-- shipped out yesterday, with no hitches... and is already in California!

We can't even get to California that fast.

No, really.  Here is what Google Flights gives you, if you ask to fly from Kona to Orlando now:

If you look at the detail for each flight, you will see, first, that  first leg of every flight is on Hawaiian Airlines; second, all routes go through HNL (Honolulu); and third, there are 2-3 layovers (!) for each flight.

This is because there are NO flights from Kona to the mainland-- none!-- right now, thanks to COVID-19:

This is a big problem for anyone trying to get out of Kona right now, let alone anyone trying to solve the terrible equation of two humans traveling with three cats.  

 I think Nate is thinking, "That one: we could get rid of that one."  (Poor Fink...)

You see, most airlines (all that we have found, in fact, except our beloved Alaska Airlines) allow zero-to-one pets per passenger in the cabin.  Hawaiian Airlines is one pet per passenger.  So, if we wanted to fly now, we would have to both fly to Honolulu with one cat apiece... and then one of us would have to fly back to Kona, just to bring the last cat to Honolulu!  Or fly them in cargo, which is not an option. 🙀

Also, most airlines (again, except Alaska) require health certificates dated within 10 days to fly pets, even in-cabin.  Hawaiian is one of those airlines. With vet clinics closed down to minimal services, we would have a tough time getting that done... and it would add to the expense of an already-expensive relocation.

So, why aren't there any flights from Kona to the mainland right now?  Well, obviously, COVID-19, but the specific reason is two-fold:  

(1) the state of Hawaii imposed a 14-day  quarantine on all visitors entering the state: this is still in effect and no one knows when it might be lifted (we're hoping May 31st), and 
 
(2) Airlines that got CARES Act funds must maintain the "same level of service" (not really, but close) to all of their airports, in order to not have to pay back the funds.  They were given an "out" however, which is the crux of our no-Kona-flights problem: they were allowed to apply for exemptions for airports they did not feel they could service without taking a major loss.  So, all the airlines that fly from the mainland to Hawaii applied for, and received, exemptions for Kona (Big Island), Kahului (Maui), and Lihue (Kauai).

So, do we just give up and stay put-- coronavirus hostages?

Of course not!  You know us.  We love beating our heads against walls until they finally yield.  We never give up!  

Oh, right, unless it's giving up on a place we moved to (like, say, the most remote island chain in the world), and getting the hell out of there.  Baba G really trained us right.  Or wrong.  You be the judge.

Anyway, we saw that Alaska Airlines was showing flights after June 1st, so we called and-- miracle of miracles!-- got an awesome agent (Shannon from Boise), who spent 90 minutes on the phone with us, helping us pick a flight that "looked like it would go for sure" (i.e., pretty full) and then making our very complicated reservations from Kona to Orlando for June 11th.  

The only thing the system wasn't letting her do was book the extra "cabin bag" seat that we need for the third cat, and for the suitcase that we use to transport my giant iMac, Nate's Chromebook, and other electronics we feel better not checking.  You know, just in case...

So, Shannon said she could put a hold on the seats over the weekend and then call us back to complete the booking Monday morning.  Call us back?!  This is such stellar, above-and-beyond customer service!  We love Shannon!  Anyway, flash forward 36 hours... Shannon calls to say she was finally able to book the cabin bag seat, BUT...

But?!  Oh no!

"Oh no" is right.  Over the weekend, it seems Alaska had changed up its entire Kona flight schedule (!), so that instead of three daily flights to Seattle, plus a couple more each to Portland and San Diego, there is now just ONE daily flight to Seattle.  One!  And it is a totally different flight schedule than we had originally booked.

But Shannon had already worked her magic, and gotten our whole reservation (including the cabin bag seat) moved over onto the new flight, even with our upgrades into Premium seats (expensive, but worth it to be in the front of the plane with extra legroom... and hopefully still the free drinks that are supposed to come with it).

Yay, Shannon!

So, the plan is to fly out of Kona on the red-eye (9:40pm departure: ouch), into Seattle, have just an hour and eleven minute layover (in which we will need to move between gates and give the cats a water, food, and bathroom break: sheesh!), and then we fly to Orlando, landing just before 5pm.

Please, everyone, cross your fingers and your toes for us, that this flight from Kona to Seattle actually goes!  (Especially in the next week or so, when our governor should announce the next phase of reopening.)

Even if we can't make the second leg with that short layover, we will at least have made it to Seattle, which is Alaska's hub and offers MANY other flight options for getting to Florida.

So, that is where things sit for now.

Between now and then, Nate and I are still culling our stuff via Craigslist (you would be surprised how many people are shopping on CL during this crazy pandemic!), and then UPS-ing out all the rest, save six checked boxes and our carryons.  Speaking of which, I should get caffeinated and get back to boxing...

As an aside: I am thinking of making a whipped coffee: it's gone viral on TikTok, so I'm going to start calling it COV-ee. 😜  In case you haven't seen it, this is what they look like:

 Crazy that coffee powder, sugar, and water can do this!

Up Next: Pretty pictures of our Hawaiian adventures...

How to Escape from Paradise during a Pandemic, Part 1

When this is the view from your porch, few people understand why you would leave...

But, the snapshot is never the whole story, is it?  (I'm looking at you, Instagram.)

As many of you already know, we moved to the Big Island of Hawaii in January 2019 with the ultimate goal of me restarting the little eco-snorkel company I had run briefly in Key West way back in 2008.  We had debated between the Big Island versus Maui, as the best island for us... and, in the end (after finally taking a trip to Maui this February), I think we chose poorly.  :(

 Oh, Maui-- the whales!  the turtles!

 Turn up your volume to hear the whale mating party... and maybe look away from my shaky camera work!

But, Maui might not have done us any better, since the entire state of Hawaii has clamped down on the number of new ocean recreational tour operator permits it is issuing.  As in, down to ZERO.   No new permits.  Still, before the pandemic hit, we were thinking of just moving one island over, to try again on Maui, since it felt like a better fit and there were guided beach snorkel companies I could have at least worked for...

But, then the pandemic hit.

Quickly, in late March, we were both furloughed, when the state temporarily revoked all the ocean recreation tour operators' permits.  The governor also issued a stay-at-home order, plus a 14-day mandatory quarantine for arriving visitors, and Hawaii began its march into a deep recession (possibly depression) that is going to persist for quite a while.

Maui suddenly dropped off the list of possible options we could explore.  Hawaii has taken the lead in unemployment claims in the U.S., with about 35% of workers unemployed across the state.  The entire tourism industry is at a standstill, and the forecast is pretty bleak about when things might get back to normal:

So, we have decided it's time to call it quits on the Hawaii experiment, and come on home to Florida.  You would think we could just book the flights, ship the cars and the stuff, and be back in no time.  Ah, but not in a pandemic!

We had a grand new plan of shipping all the stuff via air cargo-- so much easier and cost-effective than any other option!  That plan vaporized, as Hawaii's 14-day mandatory visitor quarantine has forced airlines to scale down flight schedules, leaving the Big Island, Maui, and Kauai with NO flights to the mainland through the end of May!

So, fine.  No air cargo option.  We sat and fretted on that for a couple days, before I started exploring other shipping options.  There is just no way we are going to take 19 checked boxes on the plane again, like we did on the way here.

In the end, UPS is going to be our unlikely savior!  I set up a shipping account with them, and it looks like we will be able to ship the bulk of our stuff (without breaking the bank completely) right to Diana and Mike's front porch.  The best part is that we can ship as we get things boxed, so we don't even have to do it all in one giant load.

So, that is how we will get the stuff moved back to Florida.  The cars will go via Matson container ship, from Hilo to the West Coast... but then we'll have to fly back from Florida to drive them the rest of the way.  Yes, we are doing that.  It is worth around $2K per vehicle for us to do it, rather than ship them overland to Florida!  And you know we love a road trip!  ;)

So, the only puzzle piece left in the move is how to get ourselves and the cats from the Big Island to Florida.  And, ah, there's the rub...

Up Next: How to Escape from Paradise during a Pandemic, Part 2